Receiving compliments from people was something that I used to HATE! But I no longer do. Maybe the way that I perceive compliments is different. Let me explain…
There was a time when I hated receiving compliments. Because it was a job after that. If someone told me I was “cute” at the office. I’d smile and say, “thank you”. But from that moment on, I felt like I had to make sure to be cute all of the time. Every hair in place, dress fitting like a glove and face on beat. Although, I’ve always put my best foot forward when I step out. My theory at the time was, “keep your compliments, because I could have an off day and I don’t want to know what you think about it.”
It was the same thing when dating. For instance, I used to date this guy who made it his business to shower me with compliments. Which sounds like a great thing. But when he would invite me somewhere, he would give me tips like, make sure that you’re on point when you get to the club tonight or make sure you are wearing something sexy to dinner. To me, this put too much pressure on me. How are you gonna overdose me with compliments, then give me pointers on how to look when we go out together? To me this meant, I could never have a down day, a day where my headrag stays on, and those leggings with the holes was an absolute no-no. Obviously, he thought I woke up like that. Needless to say, I had to get rid of his ass. His compliments were just too much work for me.
It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that I hated compliments because of my own issues. I cared about what people thought of me without even realizing it. They were just being nice. (Maybe not the ex-boyfriend) But it was my issue not the person giving the compliment. I was insecure and didn’t even know it.
It was until the last few years that I realized that I’d overcome it. Having every hair in place, the perfect dress, and a beat face is just the surface. I’m still the same person. If others don’t see that, who cares?? “Nice dress” or “I like your nails” are taken totally different these days. For instance, this past weekend my fiancé and I were out shopping. While going though the aisles, I walked past a lady and said, “excuse me”. After checking out and getting in the car my fiancé says,
“the lady you walked by was really checking you out. She was looking you up and down looking at your dress, shoes, and everything.”
Back in the day, I would’ve thought the lady was being shady. Not anymore. My reply to him was;
“Really?! Well, I’ll take that as a compliment”.
And went about my business. Guess this fearless living thing has changed more than I thought?! Here are some tips you can use if you find yourself in the same situation.
Be confident in who you are. Once you get that down, no one can tell you anything!
Smile. There’s something about smiling (even when I’m faking it) that makes me feel good.
Say Thank You
Take it is as just a compliment. Even if the person is being shady. Don’t stoop to their level. Like Kat Williams once said, “if you need someone to hate on, feel free to hate on me.”
Is accepting compliments something that you have struggled with? How do you handle it? Let me know in the comments…
Stay Fearless 💋